How do you know when you are ready for marriage?
February 13, 2008
Over the last couple years I’ve had a few people ask me how you know when you’re ready for marriage. I’ve given various answers depending on the person and the situation. I try to think back to when I was making that decision for myself and I let them know what I was thinking at the time. During the summer before I proposed to my girlfriend I recall coming across an article by accident and it was one of the things that convinced me that it was time to get married.
The article was written by one of my favorite philosopher/theologians. His name is Greg Koukl, and oddly enough he was a bachelor at the time he wrote it. The article convinced me that I needed to make a commitment to my girlfriend. We had been talking about marriage already, but when I say commitment I mean a different kind of commitment than just marriage itself. A lot of people get married without making any real commitment to each other. The gist of the article is that you need to be fully committed to fulfilling the needs (particularly the emotional needs) of the person you are marrying.
“What is the point of having a child? What is the point of having a wife? What is the point of having a family if you’re not investing yourself in those things?” ~Greg Koukl
There seems to be a big problem among married folk. We like to get married and then ditch each other for our careers and the golf course and things like that. Christians often find themselves so busy with ‘ministry’ that they don’t have time for their ’spouses.’ In a nutshell I’d advise that you’re not ready for marriage if you’re already married to your job. There is a way to balance the two. As humans, we’re made to work and we’re made to marry (I am aware that not every one has to get married… not so sure that the same should be true of work). I encourage you to check out the whole article. Click here for full article.
My other piece of advise is that marriage need not be like a prison. I think Kramer quite nicely sums up the typical view of marriage (at least it’s the view that is held by most people that have made it past the honeymoon stage). Before I got married I was warned by many people that marriage is a horrible thing. No more freedom and all that stuff. Well that doesn’t have to be true, though in many cases it is. Anyway, if the two of you are ready for the commitment to each other and you put a little effort into it then I’m sure you can avoid the prison sentence. I think my wife would agree that getting married has been a good thing!
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yup…i agree! ;p
Hi, I am thinking about getting married and have been praying about it with my boyfriend. Now, I have such a huge urge to get married next year..but both my boyfriend and I don’t know if we are ready. We don’t have any obstacles (family, work, etc.). Now we are just waiting for the peace in our mind when we decide to get married. I do accidentally find your blog. I haven’t read the article yet. I’m going to read it. Thank you for your insight. May God continue to bless your married life. ^_^ Emmanuel!
by the way, I’ve found your blog via google search. thank you again for your insight. I’ve forwarded your blog and the article to my boyfriend and see what he gets out of the article.
Thanks.
Emmanuel!